Too late, or too early
I want too much.
I want to turn over 45 minutes of material every year, like Louis CK. I want to create my own show and win a ton of Emmys like Tina Fey. I want to be involved in funny stuff. I want to make shitloads of money for personal appearances, like Lisa Lampanelli. I want to write a funny and honest, like Frank McCourt. I want post-baby Gwen Stefani abs and after-forty, Amy Sedaris skin. I want to visit every country on earth, or just Ireland, once. I want KilBaby to be happy and grounded, like... like who? I don't even know. I want furniture that isn't from Craigslist and I want my parents to live to see my son graduate from college. I want to read more novels and publish fewer facebook status updates. (That won't happen, at all.)
A friend commented that my generation of comedians got screwed. We started when being a good comic meant you got a sitcom, but by the time we were ready for our closeups, TV had stopped putting standups in sitcoms. Or standups in anything. Oversaturation. And now standup is being revitalized on the internet, we're the old ones. I fear I was born too late or too early.
You'd be happy too, if you were on the D train.